BE NOT AFRAID

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
-Marianne Williamson

I love that quote - it is worth reading many times over, but I'll make it easier for you the second time - here is where I 'think' I first encountered the piece, in a wonderful film entitled "Coach Carter". 

The background to that clip, is a young man who Coach Carter (Samuel L. Jackson) had identified as having great talent, but was constantly self-sabotaging his own life by making poor choices.  Throughout the film, Coach constantly asks him, "What are you afraid of?", and finally by the end of film, he comes to see what he was getting at, and responds as you just saw in the clip. 

Can you identify with this at all?  I sure did, and still can.  I'm not sure why we do it to ourselves, but for some reason there is a part of the brain, that likes to try and talk us into settling or  "under-shining". 

Have you ever picked a goal, and worked hard towards getting it?  Along the way, you no doubt, made great efforts and changes, and likely saw some success.  BUT, with that success along the way, have you ever found that you just settled or were tempted to?  Instead of sticking with it to the end and hitting that big goal, you buy into some thinking like "I've come so far, this is great. I don't need to ______".  And with that inward concession, you give yourself the out; while most look at you and see no real difference because that talk was likely just between your ears and no one else heard it.

Why am I writing this now?

I am just under 11 weeks to go until Ironman Florida.  I have been thinking, planning, and training for this event for the better part of the last year.  You would think, that as it get closer, the ability to focus and execute becomes easier, and it can be, BUT I face that same trap of self-sabotage, if I am not careful.  I have come super far this year, and there was a time when I wondered if I would get back to the fitness I had in 2010 when I last raced there.  Well, guess what?  I have. AND I actually think I am fitter.  

I had a great race a week ago in K-town, and sometimes success can be both good and bad.  Good because it builds confidence, but bad, because you can loose the hunger to keep improving, and get satisfied.  For a moment, there was part of me who thought "Yes, you nailed a good race, relax.  You don't need to keep pushing, eat some junk and chill".  For a few days last week there was a back and forth conversation in my head between giving it my all for the big goal ahead or just "taking the foot off the gas" for a bit.  Thankfully, (because this is not the first time I've had that type of dialogue), I recognized it, and was able to stay focused on the task at hand.  I have come to far now, to shrink my goals and listen to that stupid voice that can whisper to all of us, that we don't deserve to go after our best.  

To myself, I've made it clear again:  I'm going for a Kona Slot in Florida.  I want it, and I believe I can get it.  I am going to execute the best I can between now and then and give myself every chance possible to have my best race on that day.  I will lay it all on the line again, and if the "chips" don't fall my way, that's ok.  What isn't ok, is giving into that stupid little voice that, even as I type this, is trying to silence me and "dim my light".   

I will not be afraid.

No matter what journey you are on, I want to remind you as well - BE NOT AFRAID.  You can do it.  If you've set your mind on something, then go after it and don't let anything or anyone - including yourself, get in the way!

Aiming High,
Jon